umm… i think not
This article on CNN caught my eye.
I almost stopped reading it multiple times throughout, but I kept reading anyway. I just really disagreed with it. It was almost a visceral reaction.
The first problem I had with it was the headline. I mean, obviously you’re not happily married if you contemplate divorce every day, seemingly multiple times a day. If you’re spouse more often than not makes you shudder with revulsion that’s not a happy marriage. I think we can all agree on that.
I think the problem is even though she admits her husband isn’t a Very Bad Man, she still thinks he’s a Moderately Bad Man. I don’t know about you, but I think my husband is a Good Man, even a Great Man. Of course, he does some things that annoy me (he knows what they are), but he doesn’t do them on purpose and I know I do some things that piss him off too. But I would hope he doesn’t think I’m a Very Bad or Moderately Bad Woman either.
It seems to me this woman doesn’t address what she does or how she is in her marriage and instead decides to take her mediocre experience and extrapolate it onto everyone else’s. She seems to have forgotten when she was so happy to be with her husband just thinking about him would bring a smile to her face, maybe even some butterflies to her stomach. She seems to forgotten that to get the spouse you want, you need to be the spouse you want.
This is not a feminist issue. I’m not saying divorce is a Bad Thing. I’m not saying marriage is for everyone. I’m not saying women shouldn’t ever leave their husbands. All I’m saying is the solution to a ho-hum marriage isn’t divorce. It’s figuring out how you got into that rut and how to get out of it. Our culture is one of instant gratitification. We don’t want to work at things. If it isn’t easy, count me out. Sound familiar?
Loving someone isn’t hard. Marriage isn’t impossible. Compromise is achievable.
It may not be easy, but since when was anything worth holding onto?
