Saw this on CNN the other day.
Basically, there are a few couples in the article saying sleeping alone is beneficial for their marriage, that it makes them feel closer, that absence makes the heart grow fonder, etc.
Then, in comes the pysch people, saying sleeping alone when married does the opposite.
So, who is right?
For Tim and I, sleeping together is a no-brainer. It feels more comfortable, kind of like coming home. Sure, sometimes he twitches and grinds his teeth and sometimes I toss and turn, but those are minor in comparison with the — to me — crazy decision to sleep alone.
Quite frankly, we got enough “alone sleepy time” when he was in the hospital, thankyouverymuch.
—
On the iPod
(OK, I haven’t charged my iPod, but here’s what I was listening to on iTunes before I came to work)
Jay Clifford: Know When To Walk Away
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Won’t Back Down
Ingrid Michaelson: The Way I Am
Circa Survive: The Great Golden Baby
Juliana Theory: If I Told You This Was Killing Me Would You Stop?
This article on CNN caught my eye.
I almost stopped reading it multiple times throughout, but I kept reading anyway. I just really disagreed with it. It was almost a visceral reaction.
The first problem I had with it was the headline. I mean, obviously you’re not happily married if you contemplate divorce every day, seemingly multiple times a day. If you’re spouse more often than not makes you shudder with revulsion that’s not a happy marriage. I think we can all agree on that.
I think the problem is even though she admits her husband isn’t a Very Bad Man, she still thinks he’s a Moderately Bad Man. I don’t know about you, but I think my husband is a Good Man, even a Great Man. Of course, he does some things that annoy me (he knows what they are), but he doesn’t do them on purpose and I know I do some things that piss him off too. But I would hope he doesn’t think I’m a Very Bad or Moderately Bad Woman either.
It seems to me this woman doesn’t address what she does or how she is in her marriage and instead decides to take her mediocre experience and extrapolate it onto everyone else’s. She seems to have forgotten when she was so happy to be with her husband just thinking about him would bring a smile to her face, maybe even some butterflies to her stomach. She seems to forgotten that to get the spouse you want, you need to be the spouse you want.
This is not a feminist issue. I’m not saying divorce is a Bad Thing. I’m not saying marriage is for everyone. I’m not saying women shouldn’t ever leave their husbands. All I’m saying is the solution to a ho-hum marriage isn’t divorce. It’s figuring out how you got into that rut and how to get out of it. Our culture is one of instant gratitification. We don’t want to work at things. If it isn’t easy, count me out. Sound familiar?
Loving someone isn’t hard. Marriage isn’t impossible. Compromise is achievable.
It may not be easy, but since when was anything worth holding onto?
So, I was perusing the news and I stumbled across this little number.
And I couldn’t agree more. With every single one.
–
On the iPod:
Fiction Plane: Soldier Machismo
Queen: Bicycle Race
Steve Miller Band: Rockin’ Me
Rufus Wainwright: Agnus Dei
Men, Women & Children: Sell Your Money
It’s no surprise tons of people are getting married Friday, 08-08-08.
In China, the number 8 is considered lucky, much the way 7 is in Western cultures. Apparently, even Americans are getting on the Asian bandwagon and getting hitched Friday to infuse some luck into their marriage.
Why not, I guess. The reasoning goes even with divorce rates down (they hover now around 36 percent), marriage is work. Love may be easy, but living with someone day in and day out isn’t. Arguing over who has to do the dishes or whose laundry is on the floor gets old after awhile. Anything that might make it easier can’t hurt. Right?
Quite frankly, I’m a big believer in making your own luck, especially in relationships. Sure, in other situations — like the work world — it might play a bigger part, but relationships take work. Luck… maybe not so much.
However, I’m all for finding an anniversary date the hubs can remember.
If he forgets 8-8-08, there are some problems.
—
On the iPod:
Queen: Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Mae: We’re So Far Away
Massive Attack: Exchange
Unwritten Law: Rescue Me
Men, Women & Children: Messy
So, I was browsing my new favourite Web site, and I came across this gem.
Hilarious.
Quite frankly, I’m not so sure I want to learn how to spend $90 million on ONE DAY…. or six days, as the case may be.
Those crazy royals.
—
On the iPod:
Splender: Cigarette
Mae: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
Steve Miller Band: The Stake
Frou Frou: Let Go
Belle & Sebastian: Piazza, New York Catcher
Not necessarily a newlywed challenge, but this could certainly impact our lives down the road… or even sooner.
I agree completely. Newspapers have to figure out how to adapt and not slash local content/ pages to increase their bottom lines.
Your regularly scheduled wedding blog will continue later… or tomorrow.
—
On the iTunes:
Glenn Miller: St. Louis Blues March
Rufus Wainwright: Peach Trees
The Doobie Brothers: Busted Down Around O’Connelly Corners
Elton John: Philadelphia Freedom
Damien Rice: Amie
I was on CNN a few minutes ago, reading about how “Sex sting snags ‘World’s Greatest Dad’” and I came across this article.
Being single at a wedding can be a pain in the ass. The bouquet toss. The garter throw. Nosy Aunt Elsie asking when you’re getting married. It can all be a bit much.
A lot of the time, brides don’t realize how awkward it is for their single friends. Plus, I’ve never, EVER heard of a woman (myself included) who liked the bouquet toss. Why would you want to herd all your single lady friends onto the dance floor like cattle in a branding pen only to catch flowers that they’ll either throw away or will wilt in a couple of days? Does that seem like a very nice way to celebrate your nuptials and include your guests?
It didn’t to me. Which, quite frankly, is why I didn’t have one. No bouquet toss (instead, I gave the bouquet to my mother to give to my grandmother, who couldn’t attend) and no garter throw (I didn’t wear one, actually). Very few slow dances (only one, actually, and NOT a song I picked at all. Someone [aka my mum] must have requested it.).
There’s no reason a wedding can’t be a great time for both singles and couples. I hope everyone had a great time at my wedding, regardless of their romantic status.
People shouldn’t be putting so much pressure on themselves and others to tie the knot. Even though I just did it and love married life, it’s really not something that should be rushed into. There’s no need, even though our culture does put a lot of emphasis on it.
—-
On the iPod (or iTunes, in this case)
Unwritten Law: Geronimo
Led Zeppelin: The Rain Song
Radiohead: Airbag
The Kills: Cheap and Cheerful
Bon Jovi: You Give Love a Bad Name
Here’s an article I stumbled across today.
Thought it might be interesting.
Tim and I haven’t had to deal with this yet in a huge way, though we did a bit when we first moved in together.
He had a lot of stuff to put up on the walls, but I didn’t. I really felt like I was living in his apartment, which I didn’t like. Over time, however, we’ve taken down some of his stuff and put up stuff we’ve bought together. Now, it’s our home.
I’m sure when we move to a bigger place (something we’re currently contemplating), we’ll deal with this again, though not in the same scale. I think the time this will come up is when we buy a house or townhouse together and can start painting the walls.
We have very different design aesthetics. I like modern, contemporary styles, while he likes a more traditional feel. I think, though, since both of us are willing to compromise and find things we both like — even if it takes awhile — we’ll be OK.
As I have decided to change my name at work, this story caught my interest.
I’m hoping it doesn’t take me 9 months to change my name.
